4-h leader

We had our county fair this evening.  My daughter had supreme heifer with her percentage chianina heifer.  Tonite on facebook her 4-H leader started condemning the heifer and the judge saying this heifer wasnt functional.  This is my daughters second last year in 4-H.  2 weeks ago when word got out who was judging the fair she began bashing the judge before the show started that she was our personal friend and that the show was basically already won.  My daughter decided to let her steer at home to avoid all the problems.  Thus, she wins supreme heifer and we still have problems.  I just think it is sad the example a 4-H leader is setting for the kids.  She wasnt even at the show to see the cattle and is now bashing the heifer and the judge on the computer.  I am so disgusted!

it is one thing not to agree with the judge but not to do it on Facebook when the kid who won is in your project, not a very good example of a 4-H leader, you might want to let your 4-H office know about it.  that is not hat we should be teaching the kids

i had contacted them after she was bashing the judge before the fair even started.  i got the answer that facebook is an open forum and she cand say whatever she wants to on it.

Similar situation at our fair, only the comments were directed toward the actual youth member. As an FFA advisor, I went directly to the person, then went to the fairboard meeting and confronted the person and the board directly again.

If she was my daughter, I would speak to the  leader, then pull my daughter out of the club and enroll her in another, I would also encourage other parents to do the same. Thus leaving the "leader" with no kids to "lead".
I would also contact the state office. These leaders are "approved" by the state level, and therefore enough complaints, the person is stripped of their position.

Tell your daughter to hold her head high, and next year, go with a fully loaded trailer and whomp some butt, then they can REALLY complain!!!

I have been a 4-H leader for 14 years and I have never seen or heard of anything as unprofessional as a leader making negative comments about a member or their project.  Go to your 4-H office and let them know what has happened, then move to a different club if you can.  As a leader it is our job to do everything possible to encourage the members.  I know from time to time we will disagree with the judge but that does not mean we openly complain.  Don't let this experience turn you off the 4-H program.

steergirl said:

i had contacted them after she was bashing the judge before the fair even started.  i got the answer that facebook is an open forum and she cand say whatever she wants to on it.

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I guess if it were me. If the leader put her thoughts on Facebook and you can reply to them. I might take the time to reply with a note that her words/behavior surely does not reflect on her character in a very good light. You would expect someone in her role to act in a more mature and professional manner. I would also note that I feel sorry that she feels this way and we wish she could have attended the show to make more informed thoughts public.
If not, you aren't able to reply on Facebook, then take the time to write a letter to her directly. I would make sure it was adult and mature. Make a copy of that letter and share with your state office.
Very unfortunate that you have had this experience. I hear more kids saying they can't wait to get out of 4-H and get into FFA. This is the last thing that 4-H needs promoting it. Our county went through what a lot of others did last year with a levie to support it. Lucklily it passed. But bad press like this only leaves sour taste in the publics mouth. The leaders are the promoters and the face of 4-H at your local level. That is too bad.

Its leaders like this that I am no longer a 4-H leader.  I wanted to help everyone that I could.  But it seems to me more and more its about there personal agendas than about helping the youth become knowledgable and successful.

that sucks, i wouldnt have pulled the steer though. I dont care what people say or think, i actually like making the barn talk. Just go out and beat them all again, the best thing to do is tell you 4-h leader they need to learn to keep their mouth shut. This is why i dont help stuck up ag leaders, but i do like walking by them with a purple banner later on.

It's so unfortunate that county fair competitions bring the absolute worst out in people. This was my daughter's ninth and final year in 4-H. When we started it was so much fun. The parents and families were united and everyone was there to have a good time. This year was miserable. People look you in the face and have a nice friendly conversation with you then they walk away and talk about you behind your back. We have a state wide "code of conduct" that parents as well as the 4-H member have to sign. I don't think it has done a lick of good.
We show what we breed. We have primarily shorthorns. My daughter brought in a nice shorthorn heifer that won the feeder calf class last year. She should have take grand or at least reserve. She didn't even make it to the final round. My daughter went up to the judge afterward to respectfully discuss his choices and he said this, "I don't particularly like the shorthorn breed"!!!!! What the heck was he doing in a showring judging then!!!!
It's tough, especially if you have nice cattle and you have a winning record. All I can say is be the bigger person. Teach your children to treat others as you want to be treated. Kill the people who are your adversaries with kindness. And my two of my favorite saying are, what goes around comes around, and they will have to answer to our maker eventually!

print what she says, and then post it next to the class schedule next year, if it is an open forum then why can't she share her opinions with the rest of the barn. I would send an anonymous packet to the state extension office also.

Let's take a step back for a moment.  How is coming on this forum bashing the 4-H leader helping the situation?  Why would people think the judge would be partial to your daughter?  Who selected the judge for the show? 

Interest2 good point-sour grapes are just that sour grapes! this happened 1st time my youngest won grand steer at county,as we left ring the ring guy gave me a hard time about cripple can't walk etc most of you have heard similar and I looked at him (caught me a little high on life) and just laughed a big ole belly roller.Shucks that rolled off like water and a duck.Now maybe next time he doesn't catch me so happy but I knew it was because his grandson was in class and sorry etc but today still counts for us.That said I see where it can get under your skin but going out on a limb I don't think you guys were friends before show either     

We have all had our experiences with bad 4H leaders, I had such a bad time in 4H and quite! But you have forget them and look at the good ones that are there for the right reasons. I asked a local 4H leader to help me clip my heifer for the state fair and not only did he agree to but has been emailing me all kinds of links about showing/chipping/fitting heifers. He didnt care that I was not a member of his club only that I wanted to expand my understanding of the beef industry. It is because of people like him that I decided to myself become a leader so that I could give back to others that just want to learn. Thats really what this is all about.

Condradulations!  ;D (clapping) (thumbsup) <party> <rock> I can't stand when it gets to the point that an agrument comes up just because you know the judge, been there and it wasn't a pretty site to see.

I dont feel as tho I am bashing the 4-H leader when i am using no names nor did i use the county nor state that i am in.  She, however, made it perfectly well known what show she was talking about and even talked about the chi heifer that was supreme.  There is noone on here that has a clue who or where I am talking about.  I am not trying to come on here and start a battle with anyone.  Just feel that this code of ethics is not what we need in the 4H

I would not assume that no one knows who you are, or where you are from.  I would assume you should drop the subject and move on.  Just sit down, and relax,  and let the help take care of the cattle.

AAOK said:

That's just part of showing at the County level.  Social Media has just provided a forum those who want to pat themselves on the back, or rant about how they were screwed.  My advice to all is to spend about 1 yr. working in a full-service retail establihment.  You'll receive so many cussings, you learn to smile and nod at everything while ignoring every word.

I honestly think retail should be a 13th year requirement before one is allowed to graduate from high school.

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(clapping)  So true!

steergirl said:

I dont feel as tho I am bashing the 4-H leader when i am using no names nor did i use the county nor state that i am in.  She, however, made it perfectly well known what show she was talking about and even talked about the chi heifer that was supreme.  There is noone on here that has a clue who or where I am talking about.  I am not trying to come on here and start a battle with anyone.  Just feel that this code of ethics is not what we need in the 4H

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So report the leader to the county and state officials and move on. Accept the fact that in all aspects of life you will run into "not so nice" people who will run over their Mom to get ahead of life. Anything to win, anything to make themselves feel better about their own (probably pethitic) life.

Tell your daughter to do her best, accept that she will be a target, and when she is, report it to the officials and then move on.

And AAOK, I think every high school student should be required to be a waitress/waiter for at least 6 months before graduating!  AGREED!!

Why not just concentrate on the great thing, being that she won and let it be. The leader is in titled to her opinion. You agreed with the judge she did not. There are probably other parents that agree with her and they can stay in her club, you did not and dont like what she did, just leave and teach your kid to be  bigger person and move on and like I said concentrate on the good thing and ignore the bad. Find a victory in every show and you will always come away with a win, concentrate on the bad and you will always be a loser.