Dealing with this problem right now. This is how our school handles it:
1. It is the victims responsibility to report it. They want the victim to turn in an incident report to the school listing the location of the altercation and the date, time and a description of what happened. They have to go to the office to get this form, and they have to turn it into the office. Supposedly, no one is to know who turned who in unless it is taken to court then the accused will find out who the accuser is. It don't work, the kids see the victims getting the forms, or being called to the office and figure it out. Maybe give a copy of the form to all students at the beginning of the year or make it available online and make the form self explanatory, don't expect the kids to automatically know what they need to write, spell it out for them. Also give them the opportunity to mail in the form, this way no one sees who is turning the form in.
2. My boys are trained in Judo, both are third degree white belts, but are still taking classes. They know when to use it and when not to. Violence isn't the answer but if someone does finally fight back, make sure the punishment fits the crime. My oldest boy was bullied by a group of kids from the time he was in 1st grade until he was in 9th grade and we withdrew him. If he fought back he would get a week suspended for fighting and they would get 3 days detention for bullying. This was ridiculous. They knew he was turning them into the school for bullying and their were multiple reports of bullying by not only him but by teachers and other students and he got the brunt of the punishment. Multiple offenses should result in suspensions or even behavior modification programs. I think they should create a behavior modification class that is required if you get reported so many times for bullying, maybe if you have to attend a behavior modification class during a study hall and everyone see you coming and going in to that class you will understand what you put your victim through. Also the bullies figure out the system pretty quickly. In our school with our oldest boy what they would do is bully him by shoving him into the walls, lockers even on the floors, he would come home with bumps and bruises, bloody noses, etc and would tell us it happened in Gym class. By the time he got done with the nurse and got to the office to fill out the incident reports, the bully's (and their was a group of about 12), would have already been their saying he started it and filling out the bully reports against him. Pay attention, notice if you get large groups reporting the same incident and what they are saying. They bullies will do what they have to to stay one step ahead, including getting their friends to file bogus reports.
3. Pay attention to kids who don't want or refuse to come to school or are habitually missing or late. We went through this this morning, our youngest got a black eye playing football over the weekend. He has been picked on at school since the beginning of this school year, he is in 7th grade. It took us almost an hour to get him dressed and to take him to school, he just stood in a corner and cried because he was petrified he would get picked on. Perception is everything for these kids. Perseaving that the likely hood they are going to get picked on is high creates anxiety and that anxiety makes them more vulnerable to bullies. The guidance office sent my son home after all that work to get him to the school, but he was ligitametly scared of being picked on. If a parent calls saying their kid won't come to school or doesn't want to go to school because they are afraid of being picked on, DON'T send them truancy officer, make an appointment with the kid and their parents with the guidance office and find out what is going on.
3. BELIEVE!!! The kids that are being bullied, most likely were friends with the bullies at one time and the bullies know alot about the kids they are picking on. If someone comes up to you or another staff person and says they are being bullied, or they know someone that is being bullied, believe them, don't tell them "well they need to turn the paperwork in and we will investigate." They need to know that you care and that you believe them that they are not just a piece of paper to be turned in. Bullies get away with alot of stuff because kids are afraid to turn in the paperwork for fear of what will happen next. They shouldn't have to be afraid. USE the local police force, let it be known that their are consequences and that those can be legal if it keeps up. Fining the parents doesn't work, it has to be a consequence to the bully, assign them to tutor kids, assign them to stay after and clean the school, give them community service to work at the school, make them stay in the lime-light, don't hide what they did. Maybe you have an after school basketball program and the bully is on the basketball team, get him/her involved, if it is a football player, assign them to work with the flag football team at the elementary or with the JR. high football team, or with the cheerleaders or on the school play building sets. Whatever it takes to get through to the bullies the better, if they have to be outside their comfort zone it will help.
4. Give parents an option: We were given 1 option with our oldest boy, 1: take him out of school or someone was going to kill him. We had to find another school within a week, which we did, but he was bullied so bad and so long at the public school that he failed out of the christian school. He is now homeschooled and because of being bullied so bad, he just fights school work. With our younger son, we have a couple options, 1: keep him in and keep after the school to protect him, 2: pull him out and cyber school him, 3: send him to the christian school. I just want to get my boys through school and graduated. Bullying has been apart of our lives for 11 years now, we have had meetings wtih administration, guidance councellors, psychologists, psychiatrist and teachers. Nothing we have come up with works. I don't think there is any clear answer as to ways to stop the bullying problem, it is as old as school itself. We in Pa have the NO BULLYING POLICY in every school and it doesn't work. They do a program at our elementary that just started last year where every friday they spend time in each class going over bullying, what it is, ways of stopping it and what the kids should do if they see someone or they are bullied. It is a pilot program, and like I said it just started last year. I can give you their number and maybe they can give you some input, but it will be 6 years before they know they extent to which it will work. That will be the first year that students will have been in it from 1st through 6th grade.
