Return of the Cattle Buyer stories

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AAOK

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
5,264
Location
Rogers, Ar
A cattle buyer was receiving cattle in the country.  He got out of his car and headed for the scale house. Several horses were tied to the fence and as he walked behind the first horse, he slapped him on the rump.  The startled horse kicked the cattle buyer soundly on the leg, breaking it in several places.
The cattle buyer contacted his insurance company from the hospital and advised them of the incident.  About a week later, he was contacted by the insurance company... "Sir, your claim has been declined,"  said the insurance rep.

"Now wait one damned minute...  It was an accidental injury," exploded the cattle buyer.

The insurance rep calmly replied, "You got kicked by a horse because you surprised it.  That's something only a moron would do... And that's a pre-existing condition."
 

AAOK

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
5,264
Location
Rogers, Ar

Late one Fall, a cattle buyer was taking delivery of 1,500 yearlings 180 miles away.  Because of the number of cattle and several sellers being involved, he took his secretary with him to help with the tallying and paperwork.  By the time they got the cattle weighed, loaded, and the trucks on the road, there were a few snowflakes in the air.

The cattle buyer and his secretary stopped at a restaurant to get something to eat and by the time they finished eating, a full fledged blizzard was underway.  They started for home, but only went about 20 miles before they came to a road block where the Highway Patrol was turning traffic around because the road was closed due to white-out conditions 50 miles down the road.

They went back to the only motel in town to get a couple of rooms but there was only one room left and it only had 1 bed.  They talked it over and decided they didn't have any choice but to share the room.  Later that evening, they went to bed and the secretary said, "I'm a little cold... Would you mind getting me an extra blanket?"

The cattle buyer thought a moment and then replied, "You know what... Since we're sleeping in the same bed tonight, maybe we ought to act like we're married."

With a twinkle in her eye, the secretary said, "That doesn't sound like too bad of an idea."

"O.K. then" replied the cattle buyer, "Get up and get your own blanket."
 
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