You might be a beef producer if...

Hello fellow planet-eers I need some help.  I have been approached by the local cattlemens association to make them shirts to sell at the fair.  The want a sort of top ten list on the back but they want ones that are geared toward just the beef farmer/producer side of the business not the show aspect.  I have about 6 but I am stuck...help me!!! 

I will get the ball rolling...

***If you write more checks to feed stores than grocery stores...

***Family bonding is building fence and making hay...

come on... I know you folks have some good ones... help me out!

THANKS IN ADVANCE

if your farm truck looks like it went through the war

if you look forward to the spring when the grass comes strong and the cows go out

if you like to hear the quiet munching of the cows on grass over the sound of the city

just a few that popped into my head.  (pop)

Wrangler jeans, Justin boots, and a Stetson hat are worn to work, church, weddings, funerals, shopping, and dates.

You have no problem saying at the dinner table, "ole (insert name of favorite steer) sure tastes good!"

Your cattle eat a more balanced diet than the average American citizen.

You've tromped through mud, plowed knee deep snow, walked through gale force winds, in heat and cold just to make sure the soon to calf cows were ok. Or to feed the stock, everyday.

You've gotten up at midnight, 2 am, 4am, to check on the cows for calving, heat detection, sickness, etc.

Your reading material consists only of magazines from breed organizations and bull studs.

Don't take this the wrong way.

...if you would rather sit with a cow in the barn than with your wife in a hospital during labor.

Jeferin said:

Don't take this the wrong way.

...if you would rather sit with a cow in the barn than with your wife in a hospital during labor.

Click to expand...

I think this one is great!

If your ringtone is a cow bawling...
If your pocket knife is used to cut twine, clean calf scours off a calfs butt and peel an apple...

If you say you are gonna sell your cows at least once a day!........And if standing in a field with cows and calves makes you wonder why you thought that.

you keep the radar pulled up on your work computer trying to decide if you should mow hay when you get home.....

Fantastic!! Keep em coming!  I'm just gonna send the guy wanting the shirts to this thread to pick some out to complete the list!  Yay!!  I can't wait to see what else you all come up with!!  THANKS

you can say i bought out target of ky and tell the clerk it wont even last the day.

You can talk about synchronization and the women at work don't get mad.

you can tell people you buy semen and even the city folk know what you mean

If the smell of hay or silage makes you go ahhhh.
If you break out your wallet and and your photo album is of cows.
If you moo (bawl)in your sleep.
If you can't remember your nephew's name but don't have a problem recollecting your first cow's name??
If you get on SP and argue for 20 pages about heifer bulls.  Or 84 pages if you are a shorthorn breeder.
If SP get's more face time than your wife or husband.  (Just certain days)
If you refer to your cows as your girls. 
IF

nate53 said:

If the smell of hay or silage makes you go ahhhh.
If you break out your wallet and and your photo album is of cows.
If you moo (ball)in your sleep.
If you can't remember your nephew's name but don't have a problem recollecting your first cow's name??
If you get on SP and argue for 20 pages about heifer bulls.  Or 84 pages if you are a shorthorn breeder.
If SP get's more face time than your wife or husband.  (Just certain days)
If you refer to your cows as your girls. 
IF

Click to expand...

(clapping)

So I was just talking with my sitter and my 6 yr old little girl was explaining her heifer's heat cycle and why she has a CIDR in her.....so...

you might be a beef producer if...your child knows more about reproductive cycles than most adults!

You might be a beef producer if...
You've turned down a date to rinse your steer.
You spend hours looking at online sales, although you don't plan to buy anything.
You have a shorts & rubber boot tan from washing animlas.
Your wardrobe mainly consists of chore clothes, show shirts & free clothes that you got at shows.
You took grad/prom pictures with your heifer.

You might be a beef producer if...

You are a member of SteerPlanet
You get paid by the pound
Your vacation time consists of AIing cattle
You have more cattle hair prducts than shampoo for yourself
The salebarn owner knows your first name
Your trophy room has pictures of cows in it
Your lawn is a pasture (Mine is)
You dream of purple banners
Your cows smell better than you do
Your hood ornament is a steer
You have a mural of cows on your wall
You have boots set aside for going to town
Your wardrobe consists of church clothes and work clothes
Your hours are dusk to dawn
The most visited site on your computer is Cattle Visions
You eat  (pop)  popcorn while people argue about efficient cattle
You can break a cow in 24 hours

First:  I believe you should only use the humorous ones!

Second:  Please talk to SP management and see if you can sell them on SP.

I WANT ONE!

You might be a beef producer if, changing your child's diaper has made you gag, but you will give mouth to nostril to a newborn calf.

You might be a beef producer if....
      -You know how to revive a calf, but not a human
      - You find it exciting to get up at 3 am to check heifers
      - You can do conversion math in your head
      - You can figure percentages of breeds that makes up a critter
      - When a waitress ask if you want steak sauce you say "If it is a good steak it won't need it."
      - You talk during music on the radio but demand silence when the markets come on
      - Can identify a cow by bawling but can't identify your husband/wife voice on the phone
      - Buy a $45,000 truck and take it directly to the pasture, and your relatives buy a $25,000 car and park in the back 40 so it doesn't get a "door ding".


You might be a SHOW calf producer if.....
    - You appreciate big butts
    - You like hairy legs
    - Your calves have more hair products than you do
    - Pack your show box BEFORE your suitcase
    - Make sure you pack clean towels for the calves, but forget clean underwear
    - Buy prime nutrition for your calves, but stop by a discount grocery store for ramen noodles and hot dogs.
    - After spending all day in a cattle barn at the show, YOU DO NOT REALIZE YOU ARE TALKING LOUDLY when the fans are all off.

SEA said:

First:  I believe you should only use the humorous ones!

Second:  Please talk to SP management and see if you can sell them on SP.

I WANT ONE!

Click to expand...

I will post a pic of the shirt when I get the design done (hopefully in the next couple of days) and if anyone wants one I will sure ship them (with a portion of the proceeds going to the cattlemens association!) !  Thanks for all your help and playing along!!  It's nice to have a non stressful thread to look at every once and a while!!

If you have given everything except given up.