Merry Christmas....cousin Eddie style

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RSC

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Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!$%less, hopeless, heartless, fat-@$$, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey $hit he is! Hallelujah! Holy $hit! Where's the Tylenol?
 

RSC

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Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.
Audrey: We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?
Clark: No, I have one of those at home.
 

RSC

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Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now
 

RSC

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Eddie: If you scratch his belly, Clark, he will love you till the day you die.
Clark: I really shouldn't, Eddie. My hands are all chapped.
 

RSC

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[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey: He worked really hard, Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines!
 

irh

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Been waiting to see it this year on the boob tube can,t find it on any channels.  I think I'll have to buy it.  We all need a good laugh now and then...  Merry Christmas to everyone....
 

stangs13

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Dec 10, 2008
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Friendswood,Tx
We watch this movie religiously during the holidays and it never gets old!!! One of my all time favs

eddie-Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.

Clark- [Clark is about to cut the rope holding the branches of his huge Christmas tree] I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree.
[He cuts the rope, and the branches fly out, breaking windows and surrounding Clark]
Clark- Lotta sap in here! Mmmm... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.

Clark- Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary- You have your coat on.
Clark- Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?
 

jbw

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Jan 12, 2009
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HANDS DOWN the best movie ever made!!!

I loved it so much I went out and got a matching camper!! I mean RV.
Then I got a Mississippi Leghound. <rock> <rock> <rock>

 

jbh

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It's hard to figure why Quaid and his wife are being so weird in real life now......they're always on tmz.com website over something!
 

jbh

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corydon iowa
jbw said:
HANDS DOWN the best movie ever made!!!

I loved it so much I went out and got a matching camper!! I mean RV.
Then I got a Mississippi Leghound. <rock> <rock> <rock>

BTW.....he's NOT JOKIN....I've got the video to prove it! lol  That RV needs to be on EBAY!
 

LIMO

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Jul 31, 2008
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This is a favorite of mine as well.  Who likes The Christmas Story?
 
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