BBQ Joke

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cowz

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Jan 10, 2007
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This is a little late for 4th of July......Men folk, please do not take this personally, but this is how it works at my house:

BBQ RULES......enjoy!

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is
important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor
cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do,
probably because there is an element of danger involved.

  When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:

  Routine...

  (1) The woman buys the food.
  (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
  (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking u tensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

  Here comes the important part:

  (4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

  More routine....

  (5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
  (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the
situation.

  Important again:

  (7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

  More routine....

  (8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces, and brings them to the table.
  (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

  And most important of all:
  (10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
  (11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women....
 

red

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LaRue, Ohio
Gee- I do all the grilling at home too! I must be doing something wrong!

Red (lol)
 

knabe

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Hollister, CA
that's funny cowz.  here's how it works at my place, though it's getting better.  i get the side dishes done, go to fire up the grill, cook meat, dishes still not on table, then i put the dishes on the table, go put meat in container so it can sweat, utensils still not on table, no drinks either, get all that stuff, then get out meat and everything ready to go, and if i say anything, i get a lecture on something.  i usually don't cause i don't have to clean up anything.  i would rather do all that than clean up.  i do get the comments aobut the meat being cooked good.  at a recent bbq, the tri tip was kinda tough, but everyone raved about my twice cooked baked beans


and for another twist, how's this. 

In a number of controlled studies, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of E. coli bacteria found in feces.  in other words, we are consuming poop.

however, we do not run that risk when drinking wine or rum,whiskey or other liqour because alchohol has to go through a purification process of boiliing, filtering and or fermenting.

remember:  water = poop
                  wine = health

therefore, it's better to drink wine and beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of s**t.

(disclaimer, not making light of drinking and it's problems with excess)
bth way, did anyone see the crepitation link i put in the thread of "Some things never change.........."

 

cowz

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Jan 10, 2007
Messages
1,492
knabe said:
that's funny cowz.  here's how it works at my place, though it's getting better.  i get the side dishes done, go to fire up the grill, cook meat, dishes still not on table, then i put the dishes on the table, go put meat in container so it can sweat, utensils still not on table, no drinks either, get all that stuff, then get out meat and everything ready to go, and if i say anything, i get a lecture on something.  i usually don't cause i don't have to clean up anything.  i would rather do all that than clean up.  i do get the comments aobut the meat being cooked good.  at a recent bbq, the tri tip was kinda tough, but everyone raved about my twice cooked baked beans


and for another twist, how's this. 

In a number of controlled studies, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of E. coli bacteria found in feces.  in other words, we are consuming poop.

however, we do not run that risk when drinking wine or rum,whiskey or other liqour because alchohol has to go through a purification process of boiliing, filtering and or fermenting.

remember:  water = poop
                   wine = health

therefore, it's better to drink wine and beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of s**t.

(disclaimer, not making light of drinking and it's problems with excess)
bth way, did anyone see the crepitation link i put in the thread of "Some things never change.........."

Two very simple principles of water quality issues:   1.   Poop  always runs downhill.      2.   It has all been used before.   
 YIKES!   Remember all of my ranting about the "Hygiene hypothesis"?  If your environment doesn't kill ya, it makes you more immune!  Have a great day, guys!
 

knabe

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AWESOME pic cowz,  and now the astronauts have a toilet that allows them to drink their urine.  probably something similar to a 10 million dollar reverse osmosis water filter.

http://www.canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/news/story.html?id=2fc983aa-89d0-4f8d-8ac3-84cf78c37a1e

i notice we are BUYING the toilet.  as usual, i have two problems with this.  one, we are buying it, not making it, and two, why are we buying it and the russians not just contributing it?
 

cowz

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That is disheartening when we can't afford armour for tanks in Iraq!  Maybe the Ruskies consume enough Vodka in space to get by with carbon filtration and reverse osmosis!  ;D
 

knabe

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Location
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hi cowz

this just in, women are better

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070705120756.htm

Not all talk and no action

The researchers concluded in their paper that wives behaviorally exhibited more domineering attempts and were more dominant -- i.e., more likely to have their partner give in -- than husbands during discussions of either spouse's topic. That refuted their initial premise that sex differences in marital power would favor husbands.

Vogel said that wives weren't simply talking more than their husbands in discussions, but actually were drawing favorable responses from their husbands to what they said.


i find the article so funny it's ridiculous        if you believe "men accept influence from their wives", then women are not aware how much in fear we are of them. perhaps if women weren't so mean to men at home, they wouldn't have to try their hand at bullying at work ;D


bottom line, this study demonstrates the complete lack of honesty in respondents, particularly overly trained men.  men must be getting better at empathy skills while still not listening. ;D
 

cowz

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;D  OUCHHHHH!!!!   In my humble opinion, it takes empathy on both sides to have a good marriage.  I look around my circle of acquaintences and I do notice that the true CONTROL freaks are not real happy in the relationship dept.

In our modern world we have become pretty complex!   But sometimes, when you look down deep, someone in the family unit is still the nurturer!  (Hopefully so!)

Have a great day!!

 

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