Couple Funnies

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chiangus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
461
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o´clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door....

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain,

is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o´clock in the morning."

He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks.

"No. I did not. It is three o´clock in The morning and it is pouring rain outside!!."

His wife said, "Can´t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and

those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and You should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed and goes out Into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark,

"Hello! Are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness. "Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk.
 

chiangus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
461
One more for the Texans on the board....





New reality show
Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows,
Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas Style."

The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso , Midland , Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas .

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:

"I'm Gay,"

"I Love the Dixie Chicks,"

"Boycott Beef,"

"I Voted for Obama,"

"George Strait Sucks,"

"Hillary in 2012" and

"I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.
 
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