red
Well-known member
7 reasons not to mess with children.
>
> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little
girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him."
>
> ?
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused
and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat,
or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
>
> ?
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father
and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>
> ?
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some o f your hairs
white, Mom? "Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little
girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how
come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
> ?
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or "That's Michael, He's a doctor. A small voice
at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
>
> ?
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow
shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty"
>
> ?
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is
watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies A child had written a
note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
>
> ?
> It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it
made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
>
>
> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little
girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him."
>
> ?
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused
and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat,
or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
>
> ?
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father
and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>
> ?
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some o f your hairs
white, Mom? "Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little
girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how
come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
> ?
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or "That's Michael, He's a doctor. A small voice
at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
>
> ?
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow
shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty"
>
> ?
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is
watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies A child had written a
note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
>
> ?
> It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it
made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
>
