Funny for ya....

[OH Breeder]

An Ohio  deputy Sheriff stops at a farm in rural  Logan County and talks with an old farmer. He tells the farmer, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs...'  The old farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.' The Sheriff verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Sheriffs Department with me.' Reaching  into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?Do you understand?' The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams  and spies the deputy running for his life and close behind is the farmer's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The deputy is clearly terrified.  The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....



        'Your badge!

        Show him your badge Smartass!
 

 

[ruhtram]

Haha that's a good one.

 

[chiangus]

plenty of cops around here like that

 

[steermomintx]

That is just what I needed on a Monday morning!!  Hilarious!!

 

[jlingle]

Alright... I've got one.  Same farmer has some land that borders a popular duck hunting destination.  Rich folks are constantly climbing back and forth over and through his fences to retrieve their downed birds & the old feller finally gets fed up with it and posts a "no trespassing" sign.  One day, while he's out checking cows, he sees a duck hunter 40 yards on his place retrieving a duck.  The farmer pulls up in his truck & politely tells the fella to put "his" duck in the back of the truck.  The hunter informs him "Mister, this is MY duck.  I'm a lawyer, you don't want to mess with me!"  The farmer says "Oh yeah?  You're on my land, so that's my duck"  The hunter insists on taking the duck back across the fence & the farmer replies "Tell ya what, if you can beat me at my game, then you can have your duck.  Wanna play?"  The lawyer is indignant & snaps that he'll play any game the old man wants.  The old man says "It's a tough guy contest.  First, I kick you twice in the nuts, then you get to kick me twice in the nuts. Then I kick you, you kick me.... until one of us admits defeat.  Still wanna play?"  The lawyer replies "Old man, get ready for some serious pain, because I'm taking MY duck back with me!!!!"  The old man waddles up and gleefully boots the duck hunter right in the middle of his fancy neoprene waders, causing the lawyer to hit the deck and writhe in pain.  After coughing and crying out for several minutes, the lawyer is finally able to regain his feet.  The farmer steps forward and kicks him even harder, again right in the crotch.  The lawyer folds like a cheap chair, and wallows all over the ground in unbearable pain.  Finally after several agonizing minutes, the lawyer is able to regain his composure & says "Old man, now it's my turn and I'm gonna pay you back with more pain than you've ever dreamed of!!!"  The old man calmly says to him "Ah, I give up.... I don't like to eat duck anyway, you can have him.  Get your butt off my land."  and walks back to his truck & drives off.  ;D