Generation VS Generation

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Show Heifer

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Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
2,221
I am fortunate enough to have a family farm that I unfortunately now run by myself.  But I work with many farms that have 2 and sometimes 3 generations trying to farm together. Sometimes it seems to work really well, and other times, I worry that I may witness a murder!!! ::)
So, how does everyone make it work?  I know when my Dad was around, we had an understanding that as long as it got done, and it was done right, it didn't matter HOW it was done.  Also, when we got MAD at each other, we could leave the anger with the job....and laugh as soon as we left whatever we were doing!
Your family???? (cow)
 

cowgirl

Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2007
Messages
24
Definatly couldn't work with them.  Tried that and always got the short end of the stick!  They say not to mix business with pleasure and I think the same thing goes for family.  May be diffent with father/son or that type of deal, I tried farming with my brother and Grandmother.  Brother... Maybe, but stubborn Grandmother was way too much of a generation gap for me).... didn't work.  Much easier to say hi and bye at Holiday functions. :)
 

justintime

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Joined
May 26, 2007
Messages
4,346
Location
Saskatchewan Canada
I have seen it work both ways. I have two neighbours that are brothers, that I grew up with. They both worked together very well along side their father, on an excellent farm, that is, they did until the father died. These two fairly intelligent brothers got to fueding over something in the father's estate and literally have each spent in the hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer costs in legal action against each other. The father died in 1989, almost 20 years ago, and they are still trying to out do each other in the courts. A once prosperous farm is now in shambles and it has been cut up and sold off in pieces to pay off lawyers. Stupidy personified!!
I also just heard of another sad case just yesterday where a father had taken his daughter and son in law into a partnership. For some reason, the father has decided he is getting the short end of the stick and as a result the partnership has ended and each has gone their seperate ways, with lots of hard feelings. The father has a major heart problem so he can not handle the work load by himself, but he has his mind set on doing it his way... or the highway... Another case where everyone loses.
In my own situation, I have farmed along side my father since I got home from college. There have been some very trying times, as we are both rather pig headed at times. My dad is now 82 and he has done what I think is a very admirable job of slowing turning over the decision making to me. Of course there were lots of days when I did not think he was doing this near fast enough but when I look back I think he knew exactly what he was doing. I have been fortunate in that he turned over the decisions on the purebred herds to me while I was still very young. Of course, I would always consult him on major purchases and he would usually say, well, you are there, and you know our situation so bid accordingly. There were times when I would come home with some cattle purchases and he would take a look at them and walk out of the barn without saying a word. That was my clue that he was wondering what was going through my head, and that was also an incentive for me to try to make this purchase look like it was a very good move, on my part. Of course they all didn't work out, in fact there were lots that went to town , but I have tried to learn something from each mistake.
We have had lots of ups and downs but all in all, I think we have both had to work real hard at making it work. Even though dad is now 82, he still tries to come out to the farm as often as possible. He still is quite capable of doing a good days work dispite his age and I often think he comes out simply because he has never really adjusted to town living. When asked how he likes living in town, he says he has never been in jail but living in town must be very similar to it.
We have had lots of heated arguements over the years, and still have some today. But we have been fortunate that after we are done yelling at each other, we slowly cool down and it is then over with no grudges held. It is not a perfect situation but it has allowed us both to vent and to hear each other out when we don't agree.
 

sawboss

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Joined
May 31, 2007
Messages
296
Location
Nacogdoches, TX
I don't farm with my family, but I own a sawmill with my Father-in-law and Brother-in-law, company secretary is my Sister-in-law.  Talk about a tough situation, I am odd man out.  I have learned that you have to leave work at work and stand for what you believe in.  Luckily I have a loving wife that allows me to vent about her family and still support me first and foremost, without this strong relationship I would have lost my business, wife, kids and farm years ago.  To me the most important thing in working with family is to be able to say I am sorry and never allow personal conflicts to break down family ties.  Life is to short to live it alone and angry.
 

red

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Joined
Jan 20, 2007
Messages
7,850
Location
LaRue, Ohio
no way could I do anything w/ my own family!

My hubby though has always farmed on the family farm. His dad started it & Mark came to work after high school. The other 2 brothers did other jobs first but they too came back to the farm. After their dad died, the three brothers worked together. Now we have 3 nephews also working here. Can't say it's always been easy but they genuinely like each other so that helps. What one lacks in skill, the others pick up. Has worked for them for many years & hopefully many more to come.

Red
 

knabe

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Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
13,631
Location
Hollister, CA
hopefully this isn't too far off the topic.  we lease out our farm.  it served as income for my grandmother who died recently, so it's now with my aunt.  it's not big enough to make one person money, and is actually kind of an annoyance.  i have been trying to get the family for 30 years to purchase more property contiguous with the ranch to no avail.  my aunt has been running it for that time, but can't ever make a decsision about anything, so it is kind of deteriorating.  johnson grass has invaded, the leasee dumped his oil near the barn instead of in a barrel, we need a permit for the driveway because it's a wetland, someone changed a stream and took out about 20 acres of good bottom land and it's getting worse.  i would hate to sell it, as i veiw it kind of as a dormant flower waiting for something.  almost to the point where i can afford to purchase contiguous property, but the dang hunting ground property is just so ridiculous, it's almost the same value as decent ground.  what a joke, although in one way, its a good thing to collect some top soil, but bad if it just goes to johnson grass and weeds to hide those pheasants.  our family can't agree what to do with it, and doesn't know how to pursue expansion.  i would hate to see it go to a guy who wants to get a loan, make a feedlot, pulverize the ground and then go broke.  life is going to be interesting in OK where some good farmers are getting on.
 
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