I have seen it work both ways. I have two neighbours that are brothers, that I grew up with. They both worked together very well along side their father, on an excellent farm, that is, they did until the father died. These two fairly intelligent brothers got to fueding over something in the father's estate and literally have each spent in the hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer costs in legal action against each other. The father died in 1989, almost 20 years ago, and they are still trying to out do each other in the courts. A once prosperous farm is now in shambles and it has been cut up and sold off in pieces to pay off lawyers. Stupidy personified!!
I also just heard of another sad case just yesterday where a father had taken his daughter and son in law into a partnership. For some reason, the father has decided he is getting the short end of the stick and as a result the partnership has ended and each has gone their seperate ways, with lots of hard feelings. The father has a major heart problem so he can not handle the work load by himself, but he has his mind set on doing it his way... or the highway... Another case where everyone loses.
In my own situation, I have farmed along side my father since I got home from college. There have been some very trying times, as we are both rather pig headed at times. My dad is now 82 and he has done what I think is a very admirable job of slowing turning over the decision making to me. Of course there were lots of days when I did not think he was doing this near fast enough but when I look back I think he knew exactly what he was doing. I have been fortunate in that he turned over the decisions on the purebred herds to me while I was still very young. Of course, I would always consult him on major purchases and he would usually say, well, you are there, and you know our situation so bid accordingly. There were times when I would come home with some cattle purchases and he would take a look at them and walk out of the barn without saying a word. That was my clue that he was wondering what was going through my head, and that was also an incentive for me to try to make this purchase look like it was a very good move, on my part. Of course they all didn't work out, in fact there were lots that went to town , but I have tried to learn something from each mistake.
We have had lots of ups and downs but all in all, I think we have both had to work real hard at making it work. Even though dad is now 82, he still tries to come out to the farm as often as possible. He still is quite capable of doing a good days work dispite his age and I often think he comes out simply because he has never really adjusted to town living. When asked how he likes living in town, he says he has never been in jail but living in town must be very similar to it.
We have had lots of heated arguements over the years, and still have some today. But we have been fortunate that after we are done yelling at each other, we slowly cool down and it is then over with no grudges held. It is not a perfect situation but it has allowed us both to vent and to hear each other out when we don't agree.
