I need help!

Help Support Steer Planet:

MAMACOW

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
13
Location
indiania
:( I need help real bad, my 8 year old hereford heifer she has shown all year and is my daughters world died this morning at Purdue.
How do I tell her? She knew she was there and she had to have a tube put in her side because of chronic bloat and she knew she could never show her again but death was not suppose to be in the future. What so I say? Any advice would be great, I too am struggling with this! HELP???
 

txshowlamb

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
514
Well the same thing happened here last night we where out at the barns all night because the heifer was getting ready to calve well we leave to get something to eat and get some rest come back at 8am the morning and find still no calve. But the heifer was laying on the ground panting really hard and trying to push all that passed was the sack really small though. Then momma falls to the ground and dies. We where like is she alive and sure enough she was gone like that. I was shcoke that this ha happened well we thought could the calf still have a chance and so we had someone stick their arm up in her and they felt the baby but they went to pull it and the hoof came off. Well soon to find the baby was rotting inside her the calf was dead for over a week and then momma had so much stress because the baby had bloated up and when she fell the calf crushed mommas lungs. Unfortunatly it was a sad turn out but thats what happens when your in the cattle business. I would explain to her that it wasnt meant to be and momma is in a better place grazing on lush green pastures with her calf happy as can be pain free. Good luck and sorry for your loss (welcome)
 

common sense

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2007
Messages
359
Be straightforward and honest.  It's amazing but kids handle it better than the parents!  Oh, there will be tears.  That's inevitable and the best thing to help get her through the grieving process.  This is why we have cattle in our children's lives.  It helps them to understand how life really works.  It's not always a bowl of cherries and we have to deal with death.  Help her find the positive points and focus on what that heifer did to change her life.  Then maybe down the road you can talk about the fun you will have finding a heifer to help replace her.  I feel so bad for you.  That's the tough part of being a parent but that's the choices we make.  Good luck and I am so sorry for you.
 

farmboy

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 21, 2007
Messages
5,652
Location
south webster ohio
being a kid still myself kinda i would want it handed to me straight forward, explain what happend first then say shes passed
 

MAMACOW

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
13
Location
indiania
Thanks!  We are going to tell her this afternoon, she deals with death OK normally because we run 100 cows and she sees it of and on and  her aunt pasted in Dec.  This time is different because it is hers, and she has spent so much time working with her for all the shows and Jr. Nationals.  It breaks my heart.  I am sure she will deal with it better than me!  I am sorry for you TX show lamb.  I know how it feels.
 

justintime

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2007
Messages
4,346
Location
Saskatchewan Canada
These things are never easy.... but telling her straight forward is the only way to handle it. I am sure if you try to hide this from her for even a while, she will take it harder when she does find out. I have been around cattle all my life, and I still find it hard when you lose an animal that is special. I do think that this same issue is why most agricultural based people who work with and raise animals, have a better balanced prospective about life, death, relationships, and lots of other things that are important in our lives, than some of our urban friends do.

My dad is now 83 and still helps me on the farm. I have only seen this man cry twice in my life. The first time was shortly after my mother died. The second time was two springs ago, when we lost a calf at birth. It was a normal enough calving, however the calf just didn't want to breath properly. It would take a few breaths and then stop. Dad and I worked with it trying to keep it breathing, but eventually it quit entirely and died. My dad sat down on a bale and cried . I have no idea how many thousand calves dad has seen born, or how many he has seen die,  but it showed me that this death thing is never easy.

Good luck with your daughter. Honesty is always best. I am sure she will appreciate this, in time, and you will as well
 

Diamond

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
715
Location
CT
This is what makes me hate Peta so much, they act as if we don't care. Honestly I have yet to see a farmer smile when we come across a dead calf, not just for the revenue loss, but for that life that never got to live. We dedicate are lives to them, give up vacations (or they ARE our vacations) and spend a small fortune to improve their ability. That's why a lot of us do it, sure there are easer ways to make money, but not nearly as many that touch are hearts like cattle do. Sure there's the times we want to ship them all, and when we wouldn't mind some more.

All I can say is good luck, because for all the bad times they really make you enjoy the good times.
 

cattlejunky

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2007
Messages
538
Location
indiana
I am so sorry!!!!  We heard the other night she was at Purdue.  There is no easy way to do it that is for sure.  We had a bottle calf die about a month ago and the kids took it way better than I thought.  Parker surprised me by saying, "thats okay Mom we will have more baby calves".  I will be thinking of you!! :'(
(angel)
 

Turkey Creek Ranch

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
207
I think it kind of depends if she understands the concept of death or not. If she doesn't, I would tell her she ran away or something like thta  :-\. If she does understand, I think it would be best to tell her straight up.
 

txshowlamb

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
514
I surely wouldnt say she ran away she woul go out looking and just have hope for her to come back tell her the truth she will learn with this experience you will be surprised
 

ELBEE

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
635
Location
Blue Rapids, Kansas
I do think that this same issue is why most agricultural based people who work with and raise animals, have a better balanced prospective about life, death, relationships, and lots of other things that are important in our lives, than some of our urban friends do.



I have held these same beliefs for a long time!
 

MAMACOW

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
13
Location
indiania
We told her last night she took it ok, not great but ok.  Found out the heifer had thorax cancer that was pushing on the vagal nerve and the tumor ate through a blood vessel that went to her lungs and thats what she died from.  Thanks for the advice everyone!!
 

krissy94

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
67
Location
Maryland
Diamond said:
This is what makes me hate Peta so much, they act as if we don't care. Honestly I have yet to see a farmer smile when we come across a dead calf, not just for the revenue loss, but for that life that never got to live. We dedicate are lives to them, give up vacations (or they ARE our vacations) and spend a small fortune to improve their ability. That's why a lot of us do it, sure there are easer ways to make money, but not nearly as many that touch are hearts like cattle do. Sure there's the times we want to ship them all, and when we wouldn't mind some more.

All I can say is good luck, because for all the bad times they really make you enjoy the good times.

for my family, county fair IS our vacation, and we stay in the barn the whole time. It must be hard on that poor girl  :'(
 
Top