joke joke joke

[farmboy]

A french doctor says, medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of a man, put it in another man, and have him looking for work in 6 weeks. A German doctor says, thats nothing, we ca take a lung out of one person , put it in another, and have them looking for work in 4 weeks. The Russian doctor says in my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in 2 weeks. An American doctor, not to be outdone, says, you guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.

 

[Doc]

So true!!! ;D

 

[CM Cattle]

(lol)

 

[beefy08]

(clapping) (clapping)

 

[Teacher]

;D <party> That was good

 

[knabe]

it's bush's fault.

 

[SouthWest]

> Your income taxes  are normally due on April 15th unless
> that date falls on a
> Saturday or Sunday in  which case they are due on Monday
> the 16th or 17th.
>
> The good news is that  I have learned of a recent change,
> and for the next 4
> years, income taxes will  not be due until you are
> nominated to a cabinet 
> position.

 

[knabe]

this thread has overtones of Stockholm syndrome.

money is just a tool to see who is taking advantage of others.

 

[SouthWest]

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the

building standing. Its called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now

being called Wal Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and a investment broker.. The

pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW

4. What's the difference between a guy who  lost everything in Las

Vegas and an investment broker? A tie.

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left

side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who  might be reading this, if

you get any emails from Washington  asking for money, it's a scam. Don't

fall for it.

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my

checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether

that refers to mine or the bank's.

          NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS :

          CEO --Chief  Embezzlement Officer.

          CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

          BULL  MARKET -- A random market movement causing an

          investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

          BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period  when the kids

          get no allowance, the wife gets no  jewelry.

          VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and  selling lower.

          P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants

as the          market keeps crashing.

          BROKER  -- What my broker has made me.

          STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a  nutshell.

          STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

          STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your   

assets equally between themselves.

          FINANCIAL  PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

          MARKET  CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

          CASH FLOW-- The movement  your money makes as it disappears

down the toilet.

          YAHOO  -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker

for $240 per share.



          WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who

bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

          INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past  year investor who's now locked

up in a nuthouse.

          PROFIT  -- An archaic word no longer in use.