Joke of the week

[cowz]

Here one for all of you hunters:

Two cattle buyers hired a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They each bagged two moose.
As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot told them the plane could take only two moose and that they would have to leave two.

The cattle buyers objected strongly.  Bart told the pilot, "Hell, last year we shot four moose and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours."

Ace chimed in, "Yeah, but then he was a damned good pilot."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all four were loaded.  Unfortunately, even at full power, the plane couldn't handle the load and went down shortly after takeoff.

Climbing out of the wreckage, Ace asked Bart, "Any idea where we are?"

Bart replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year!"

 

[cowz]

Yikes!  There's more:

Two cattle buyers are out in the woods hunting deer when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other cattle buyer whips out his cell phone and calls 911. 

He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead!  What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, “Just take it easy… I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead.” 

There is silence... then a shot is heard. The cattle buyer says, “OK, now what?”

.

 

[knabe]

ha, thanks, cowz.  you're the best.  the make sure he's dead joke strikes me as to what people are doing to capitalism.  kill the golden egg, quick, so i can see the recovery in my lifetime and won't have to reassure my daughter it will change, everything is in cycles.

 

[cowz]

Ok, I just know in my heart that a big percentage of your momma's read you stories out of the Little Golden Books.  Your mothers probably would not like this one:

"Little Golden Books That Never Made It"

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

 

[NHR]

#21 was great skit by Robin Williams way back in the day. Just plain funny.

 

[knabe]

cowz, every friday.  your're the best

here's a couple of mine

communists pay their own bills
communists pay for their sins
communists pay your health car, but leave your money alone
communists must explain incentives
communists must explain nuance
communists must explain debate
communists must debate
communists learn to talk without shouting
communists forget populism
communists forget personality cult
communists understand partisanship
communists accept defeat
communists welcome defeat
communists admit needing capitalism
communists accept religion (other than their own lack of it, which to them IS a religion, of the state that is)
communists derided in school curriculum
communists drawn to island in antartica and stay there
communists  convert or choose to depopulate
communists commute communism
communists make better vodka
communists admit mistake

 

[cowz]

This is a site for all ages....so lets keep it clean?!!!

 

[Schneider Show Calves]

those were some good jokes cwoz specially the one with the deer hunter..