Political Joke of the Day

[cowz]

The Clinton campaign thought it would be good to do some PR over with the American troops in Iraq.  Chelsea was sent over to interview the troops.  She found a young soldier and decided to interview him.  "What are some of the things that frighten you as you serve here?", she asked.  He thought for a moment and said,
well, if I had to prioritize my biggest fears, they would be in this order:

OSAMA,  OBAMA, and YOUR MAMA!

 

[knabe]

that was not a joke. ;D

it IS reality.

 

[knabe]

polls know everything

 

[farmboy]

lol  O0

 

[knabe]

here's another one

there's no bullet list like stalin's bullet list
comrade, why are we having this meeting?  the rate of information transfer is asymptotically approaching zero!

meetings are a tool to gauge teamwork.  rarely are the bad seeds removed, but are usually rewarded, the rest fired.  just like in russia.  successful companies, or periods of time, are able to resist this temptation, or minimize impact of individual players to their contribution capbility.  usually it's one or two postions above that.  called the peter principle."In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."

 

[Doc]

that was not a joke. ;D

it IS reality.

Amen Brother!!!!!

 

[red]

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.


"I will give each on you one wish, which is three wishes in total",  says the Genie.


The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm.  I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ."



POOF!  With the blink of the Genie's eye,
the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.


Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or
Canadians can come in our our precious land."


POOF!  Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.



The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."


The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country.  Nothing can get
in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."



The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, "Fill it with water."

 

[kanshow]

(clapping)  Good ones..  Here's mine..




Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?  

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.  What
do you do?
  ...............................................................


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:















Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
.....................................................................................................................

  Republican's Answer:


  BANG!
  ....................................................................................................................

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

 

[knabe]

i was thinking 14 bang's, plus 1 in the chamber ;D

 

[red]

That was a great one Kanshow! I have to give Justme credit for mine!

Red

 

[kimbaljd]

This one is not political, but I enjoyed it.


What goes clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, bang bang bang, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop?






Amish drive by.