Sore Losers

[Show Dad]

Winning and losing are all part of the show ring.

But has anyone experienced someone being mad  that you won?

 

[farmboy]

not at me but after my advisors daughter won reserve champ county fair, the girl who usually wins stalls across the walkway and i could here her talking on her cell phone, saying blah blah my steer was better than hers....must be a girl thing  ;D

 

[red]

It's part of life. You're going to have sore losers no matter what you do. I've had people not talk to me for years just because we beat them at a show. Usually it's the adults that are the worst.
I always tried to install in being a gracious winner or loser but not everyone follows that line. Too many times it's easier to blame the judge, cheating or just bad karma rather than their lack of working.

Red

 

[Telos]

People do seem to get opinionated at others who are doing the winniing. It often times comes from the adults and not the kids. The kids then end up acting like their adult teachers.

One of the aspects of showing cattle is experiencing all the good, bad and ugly which seems to come out in some when competing at these livestock shows.
For the most part people are really great when it comes to being supportive and giving, but there always seems to be at least one who is not quite connected.

I feel the most important goal of the Junior Livestock Program is to insure that it stays a healthy and positive learning experience for our kids. Competition can also have negative ramifications if kept out balance with cooperation. As I get older and hopefully wiser I have learned it this cooperation which can often be lacking in the learning process.

Hope I did not get off topic, but I'm always trying to figure out why we like to do what we do. There are many good articles and studies related to this topic.
Just google Competition vs Cooperation a lot of insightful reading if your into that sort off stuff.

 

[Show Dad]

The reason I brought this up is we have some really good friends that helped us get started showing cattle. With out their help we would have been lost. But after the second year our daughter's steer won the local county fair. We could see they were upset but thought at first that they didn't agree with the judge. It wasn't only the judge they were upset with, by the next morning they were saying that our daughter wasn't a good showman, we had somehow found the right gimmick and hadn't shared it with them, or we bought the ribbon by paying way too much for the animal ($700 for a 700 lbs. steer).

Needless to say this not only hurt us but our daughter as well. It really took the fun out of it. We have regrouped and learned that no matter how we do we will be happy, share what little we know with all and lend a helping hand to all.

But Red and Telos are spot on! Parents watch what you do and say! Somebody is always watching!!

 

[showcattlegal]

I agree your always going to have sore losers. I don't think it is right, but most of the ones I have been around it's because the kids do the work and they get beat buy the kids that have at least 3 other people work with there animals and they don't see them until they go in the showring.

 

[Show Dad]

SCG - Those are the most aggravating!

How do you explain it to the kids?

 

[justintime]

This has always driven me crazy. You are right, in that, the biggest sore losers are usually the parents. As I have said on here before, the more I deal with people, the better I like cows. These kinds of incidents always remind me of this.

 

[Show Heifer]

I have said this more than once, but I believe it to my core: Life isn't fair. Accept that fact and you will be much happier.
I have gotten beat, I have won. I have lost when I didn't think I deserved to, and I have won when I didn't think I should have.
I showed along side a family that when we would get back from the show, the parent that stayed home would ask "So, how did YOU do?" Meaning, how did you do, not what place did you get. I never got it, until my friend said, "I did well, my calf just didn't look good enough."
On the opposite side, I showed in the time of another family that would cheat on EVERYTHING, EVERY RULE. Showing different breeds in wrong classes, mis-aging until it was halarious, fake birth cert ON THE KIDS, paying (well, actually NOT paying for) high dollar calves, hiring pro's to do the work, etc.....I don't think they did an honest thing their whole show career. Guess what? They haven't changed a bit, only grew older and more pathetic. Yes, they were REALLY sore losers on the rare occassion they lost, and yes, all of us kids got tired of them getting away with it. But....we also (parents and kids alike) also couldn't wait to see what they would do next! It was like a game "What rule can they break now, and will they get caught?".
I guess I think showing is A LOT like real life. Sometimes you get a bum rap through no part of your own, and sometimes lady luck smiles down upon you. Accept each with a gracious smile and a warm, compassionate heart, and all will be welll in your home!!!

 

[showcattlegal]

I have never found away. I guess if there wasn't so much money in showing there wouldn't be so many people that cheat to win :-\. life isn't fair, a fair is where pigs win ribbons. I heard that from a preacher on tv the other day lol.

 

[Jill]

My husband and I neither one ever showed growing up, when the nieces and nephews got old enough we gave them the opportunity and we all started from scratch.  The 1st year we won our county fair and the crowd went wild, the 2nd year we had grand and reserve and there was mild applause, the 3rd year you could have heard a pin drop.  If everyone likes you and is happy with you it is because you are not winning, and it is worst at the county fair, you can’t let that bother you it is their problem.  It is a good learning lesson and a good opportunity for your child to see how you handle yourself.  Life is full of winning and loosing and we need to teach our children to be gracious in both, you can’t control life, but you can control how it affects you and your children (even when we know the judge blew it and that does happen sometimes ).The way I see it people have winning and loosing problems because they set their goals in the wrong places, the only class you have control over is showmanship.  Put your work and goals into showmanship and you will never be disappointed.

I get so tired of hearing people complain about families that have other people doing the work.  If you are doing what you should be they are at a disadvantage!  I would suggest that those of you that have a problem with this get into the barn rinse your calves, brush and blow repeat several times a day everyday and work with your calves, your calves will look just as good and they will know who you are, stop complaining and get to work.

 

[Telos]

Jill,  I do agree with you with regards to showmanship. It is just a more even playing field and part of showing which I never excelled. My main concern as a junior was to try and win with my calves. Though showmanship was a part of that, it wasn't my goal at that stage in my life,  but now wish I had given it more attention.

I think it is discouraging for many kids and families today to want and be involved with showing because the competition has become a professional pass time for the experienced and talented cattle fitters. Some of these kids and families feel they're having to go up against the NFL or NHL. Maybe there needs to be steer shows only for the experience professionals. That song, Leave our Kids Alone is starting to make since after all these years.

Even though life is not fair, I don't think it should be a big part of the mission in teaching  our youth.  I feel it is far more important to instill the fact that goals can be conquered with hard work, limited support and a little luck.

This again was a bit off topic but just had to get that off my chest.

 

[Show Heifer]

Jill, I admit when I read your post I was shaking my head. I complain about hired jocks doing the youths work because is it against the rules. It is the KIDS project, not the parents, not the steer jocks. I think it is cheating. But like I said, life isn't fair. The playing field will always be divided by the have and the have nots. Telling a 12 year old to "get to the barn and rinse" while competing against a jock that has the show barn, show fans, all the goop, etc, is like telling a high school lineman to step into the NFL and  "lift weights".
I agree with tellling the kids to work hard, but to pretend that having a high dollar jock do the kids work for them is NOT an advantage is just silly IMHO.
I agree with a judge I heard a few years ago....his comment at the championship drive...."...the kids do a great job with their animals....its been a pleasure to get to know some of the youth.....but in all honesty, the problem today with the youth livestock programs is that there is too many 40 year old 4-H'ers." Amen to that.

 

[Telos]

Sorry... The song is Pink Floyd's Brick in the Wall, and actually goes...Hey teacher, leave us kids alone.

 

[justme]

We experienced it this weekend.  My daughter has had an awesome first year, and we are so gratful that she has.  She always helps anyone out that she can...she's just that kind of kid.  We pulled in and nobody wanted to let us pen next to them telling us they are already taken.  Finally someone let us pen.  Then they wouldn't let us in the wash rack.  The one boy said why should we let someone who could beat us in?  Wow were we taken back.  I took my daughter aside and had to explain why a young man who has always been nice to her would act so rude to her.

Just a shame that when a kid works hard others get jealous.  Kids just need to keep there chins up and win and loose with dignity.

 

[Show Dad]

My Grandfather told me once that there are a lot of people in this world who want a lot of things but few willing to work for them.

How many kids are in so many other activities, with both parents working and going to school so they just don't have enough time to do anything fully or correctly? Does this then put pressure on the parents to find ways, such as professional fitters and such, to help their kids do better? And what are they really teaching their kids? Maybe the parents need to say no to some if not most of the other activities so their kid can really focus on doing better in the ring?

 

[Telos]

Wow! Coming up with solutions to help even out the playing field would truly be a difficult challenge and a rethinking of how it is presently done. I do feel that all kids with the desire should also have the same opportunities that others are so fortunate to have. Finances can be very challenging for many. My one solution is; If some can afford to hire professional help on these projects then everyone should have the same opportunity. I think it would be great for those kids and families who could not normally afford a project with hired help included, to be able to team up with a friend or perhaps a neighboring family whose kids have the same interest on a project, if they so choose. A positive aspect to this could be learning how to be cooperative in working together as a team and learning how to be competitive at the same time. Kind of like what we do when we partnership on a business venture. Families could then have the opportunity to dissolve this partnership if it's not working out.  Record keeping of costs could be shared and just learning to get along with a partner would add to this learning process. I strongly feel learning intergrated social skills are an important part of developing these kids and we need to pay more attention to that aspect.

 

[Jill]

I'm just saying our kids started from knowing nothing and have beat many of the the kids that do none of the work, it can be done and we have proven that, and we have done it with ones that we raised.  Everyone tries to make this about money and how much you spend and it just isn't.  I can give a 10,000.00 steer to 3/4 of the kids in my county, show them exactly how to feed, provide them with the Stierwalt videos on how to fit, put on a clinic to teach them to fit, and they still will come to fair with a calf that looks like crap because they have not fed and cared for it and complain all the while that we are "professionals" even though we are not.

The reason I say to set your goals in showmanship is that is the only thing you can control.  I can't control how my heifers turn out, we do what we can to the best of our ability, but it is up to a judges opinion and he either likes the heifer I am showing or he doesn't, it isn't something you can't try to win. 

 

[Jill]

We experienced it this weekend.  My daughter has had an awesome first year, and we are so gratful that she has.  She always helps anyone out that she can...she's just that kind of kid.  We pulled in and nobody wanted to let us pen next to them telling us they are already taken.  Finally someone let us pen.  Then they wouldn't let us in the wash rack.  The one boy said why should we let someone who could beat us in?  Wow were we taken back.  I took my daughter aside and had to explain why a young man who has always been nice to her would act so rude to her.

Just a shame that when a kid works hard others get jealous.  Kids just need to keep there chins up and win and loose with dignity.

You tell her we are all very proud of her, your true friends will still be you friends regardless of who wins.  It is a good lesson of how not to be when you get beat, hard way to learn it, but sometimes I think it is more meaningful when it is something you experience rather than something your parents have just told you to do.
By the way, which heifer did you end up buying, never did hear your decision?

 

[shortyjock89]

What really sucks is when you're in a situation like Jill's.  I have had similar things happen to me and my friends.  We will win champion whatever at a fair with calves we raised, and then we'll hear all the usual "barn talk".  Things like "Well, you know, they spent 10k on a heifer just to beat us." Or, "Well, you know that that cooler they have is why they have all that hair."  I don't even have a cooler, just a dark barn with lots of fans.  I've never spent 10k on a heifer, and I really don't like sore losers, but I guess some folks like to rationalize by blaming other people. 

Oh, and justme- keep reminding your daughter to keep her head up and not to listen when people try to bring her down.  She's overcome alot this first year, especially with getting over being frightened by her calf, so you know she is already a strong person, these sore losers are just another hurdle.