Stupid cow jokes

[red]

I apologize before you even read these! They're pretty bad!
Red  (lol)

A blonde from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.
"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

Where do cows go when they want a night out?
To the moo-vies!

What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
Bull-dozin'

What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat

What do cows wear in Hawaii?
Moo- moos

What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
Decalfenated

Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn't work

Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of cows into low Earth orbit?
They called it the Herd Shot 'Round The World!

 

[red]

There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."

Old man BillyBob goes and gets a loan from the bank to buy a high priced bull. A few days later, the banker comes along and asks, "How's our bull doing?" BillyBob says, "Our bull ain't doing too good. I got him out there in the pasture with a bunch of young cows and he don't want nothing to do with them." The banker says, "You better call the veterinarian." A couple of days later, the banker comes along again and says, "How's our bull doing now?" BillyBob says, "Plenty darn good. He has done serviced all of my cows, jumped the fence, and is working on the neighbors' cows." The banker says, "Wow! What did the Vet give him?" BillyBob says, "He gave him some pills." The banker says, "What kind of pills?" BillyBob says, "I don't know, but they tasted sort of like peppermint."

*

A farmer down the road had a fairly large herd of cows and three bulls. Each bull keeping a strict eye on his portion of the cows. A rumour comes around that the farmer is going to get another bull and the three bulls are standing in the field discussing this. The first bull says, "Well, there's no way he's going to get any of my cows." The second bull agrees, "Yeah, I'm not giving up any. He can wait till next year and get some of the new ones." The third bull who was a bit smaller says, "I don't have as many as you guys so I'm not giving any up." Finally, the new bull arrives. The first three gather at the edge of the field to watch him being unloaded from the trailor. To their consternation, the biggest, meanest Brahma bull they have ever seen comes strolling down the ramp and glares at them. He's at least three times bigger than any of them. The first bull looks around nervously and says, "Well now, I suppose it would be a neighbourly thing to give this guy some cows. I think I'll give him twenty of mine." The second bull says, "Yeah, I guess so, I'll give him thirty of mine." They look over at the small bull. He's busy pawing the grass, snorting, and shaking his head. They go over and ask him what he's doing and suggest that he should give up some cows too. He says, "Yes I know, I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull!"

*

))

 

[farmboy]

THE LAST ONE WAS THE BEST (lol) (clapping) (cow)

 

[genes]

Oh dear.   

Since we are in a cheesy mood.....

What do you call a cow with no legs?  Ground beef

 

[ROAD WARRIOR]

One even worse - How do you stop a bull from chargeing? Take away his credit card.