tee hee

[knabe]

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York two days before Thanksgiving and says,'I hate to ruin your day, but I
have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years  of misery is enough.

'Pop, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the father says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. 'Like heck they're getting divorced, 'she shouts, 'I'll take care of this,'

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, 'You are NOT getting divorced.
Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brotherback, and we'll both be there tomorrow.
Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?'and hangs up.







The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay,' he says, 'they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.'
   

 

[Simmymom1]

(clapping)

 

[steermomintx]

Too funny!!!

 

[farmboy]

(clapping)

 

[CM Cattle]

(lol)

 

[SWMO]

(lol)

 

[Diamond]

<party>

 

[OLD WORLD SHORTIE]

Hillarious!!! <hero>

 

[Davis Shorthorns]

love it!!!  (thumbsup)

 

[farmerboy317]

(lol)

 

[shortdawg]

U DA MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[red]

thanks for the chuckle Knabe!!!

 

[red]

this one came from JoeBoy:

Don't toot in Bed!
> If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know
and
> I'll pray for you.
> This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The
 
> only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of tooting
loudly
> every morning when he awoke.
> The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and
> make her gasp for air.
> 
> Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
 
> was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
> perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
> one day he would blow his guts out.
> Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was pr ep aring the turkey f or
> dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
> had put the turkey innards and
neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
> parts and a malicious thought came to her.
> She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
> and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
> waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
> shorts.
> 
> Some time later
she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
> which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
> footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
> The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
> laughing, tears in her eyes!
> After years of torture, she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
> About twenty m inutes later, her husband came downstairs in his

> bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip
 
> as she asked him what was the matter.
> H e said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
an d
> I didn't listen to you."
> "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
> "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up tooting my guts
out,
 
> and today it finally happened.
> But, by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got
> most of them back in."

 

[inthebarnagain]

(clapping) (lol) (clapping) (lol)

 

[BCCC]

(thumbsup) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D (clapping) (clapping) (lol) :'( :'(