The Wife from you know where..

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Well-known member
Sep 6, 2007
Springfield, Ohio
I got this on my e mail and thought it was pretty funny.

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks ov er at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
'Only when he's been drinking.'


Well-known member
Mar 6, 2008
eastern ky

For several years, a married man was having  an affair with an Italian
woman. One night,  she confided in him that she was pregnant.  Not
wanting to ruin his reputation or his  marriage, he paid her a large sum
of money  if she would go to Italy to secretly have the  child. If she
stayed in Italy to raise the  child, he would also provide child
support until the child turned 18. She  agreed, but asked how he would
know when the  baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her  to
simply mail him a post card, and write  'Spaghetti' on the back. He
would then arrange  for the child support payments to  begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he  came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she  said, 'you received a very strange post card  today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll  explain it later,' he said.

The wife  watched as her husband read the card, turned  white and

On the card  was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti ,  Spaghetti, Spaghetti,  Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs,  two without.'