WANTED:Parents

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Jill

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 20, 2007
Messages
3,551
Location
Gardner, KS
Got this email and thought it was good enough to share
PARENT

Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right..


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do ... or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE?

THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!




 

cattlejunky

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2007
Messages
538
Location
indiana
I have seen this before and how true it is!  Wouldn't trade for the world, but the job description sure would scare you off.
 

AAOK

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
5,264
Location
Rogers, Ar
I've reached the Grandparent status, and it really is even better than everyone says.  I just with they were'nt 4 1/2 hours away.
 

knabe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
13,639
Location
Hollister, CA
parents not needed, we have a village.  in fact, someday, it may be illegal to be a parent.  what we will become are "guardians".
 

shorthorns r us

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2007
Messages
900
knabe said:
parents not needed, we have a village.  in fact, someday, it may be illegal to be a parent.  what we will become are "guardians".

Is it really necessary to ALWAYS rain on the parade?  We get it!  I personally get it!  This is NOT coming from SRU the moderator; just me personally.  As a matter of fact, if the job of moderator precludes me from this, I quit.

SP faithful, if I am out of line, just say and I will keep biting my tongue.  If you agree, please share.
 

loveRedcows

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2007
Messages
202
Oh I love it!  Can't wait to pass it on to my kids, along with the msg that it was worth EVERY minute.  I'm soooo lucky to have my kids & grandkids nearby & am blessed that they all are animal oriented.
 

knabe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
13,639
Location
Hollister, CA
ALWAYS - a number beyond infinity.  i thought "full pull" and the "throught the roof" were decent and invalidated the premise.

if you agree, please share. -  if you don't agree, don't share.  sounds like a speech (tax) break for patriotism written by dick durbin and backed by obama.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily (even permanently)

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.  (see below)

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule (and carry the burden of those walking without a pack)

above is not meant as a personal attack on anyone, though, admitting that exposes a little offense on my part and therefore makes me a hypocrite by allowing myself to be offended.
:)


 

Show Heifer

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
2,221
kanbe....you make me think.....I love it! And most of the time, its sad but true.

 

red

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 20, 2007
Messages
7,850
Location
LaRue, Ohio
I think Knabe tends to just over think most things. It's a sign of an active brain & imagination. He can go off on a tangent sometimes. There have been a few posts that just don't seem to make any sense pertaining to the original post. But no one here is perfect, we each have our own little quirks.

Don't worry SRU, you are just fine in my book!

 

knabe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
13,639
Location
Hollister, CA
SRU is the man

here's a link about parenting with a little government reinforcement.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080221/NEWS02/802210390/1001/NEWS

"The whole concept was to get the parents' attention so they will be a little more proactive,"

as if it wasn't there already?

what's next, if they aren't "proactive" enough by the governments standards.  this is the slippery slope.

existing laws are sufficient.  this seems to benefit the people giving out the fine more than anything.  makes them feel good.  how about mentoring those kids and/or parents.  how about doing something/anything to help rather than create yet another whole new set of hoops.  typical.
 
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