Old Sayings

When the obvious answer to a stupid question is a "Yes," the rejoinder without saying "Yes" is to ask "Is a frog's a$$ water tight?" or "Does a bear crap in the woods?"

When Joe won grand champion with his steer he "Was as excited as a qu33r in a wiener factory."

on being .... less than intelligent  :  He's got a 10 dollar hat on a five cent head!

Grandpa on drought..... its so dry the bushes are following the dogs around! 

Poor milker - "She doesn't have enough milk to to feed a sparrow"

All hat, no cattle.

He's a drugstore cowboy.

The sun don't shine on the same dog's butt all the time.

If if's and butts, were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry christmas.

If Bullsh$t was a horn, he'd be a whole brass band.

FutureBreeder said:

its not really a saying but my papa used to say "Jak Sae Mas" which is czech for how do you do i think

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dobře! dobře!

never trust a skinny cook.

Mom always said, You can't get blood out of a turnip and don't count your chickens before their hatched.

From my 92 year old Grandpa......

Hotter than a ten cent...can't say that one

Colder than a witch's .....can't say that one either

Those who have must lose....those who don't can't.

One time many years ago an old neighbor came out with " It's so dry out, a grasshopper would have to pack a lunch to cross my place".
On the pastures that year he said. " They're barer than a bird's a@@".
Another old Hereford breeder who was quite an inspiration in my life told me " Never trust a man who when you shake hand with him feels like you're shaking a wet noodle."

Never trust a new paint job on old equipment

Auctioneers and ringmen are one step above the IRS (always want your money, and when the going gets tough, they turn their back)

Its your story, you can tell it.

You can't undo, re-do, what you did do, or didn't do yesterday. Move on

And my favorite:  Live isn't fair. Never has been. Never will be. Accept it and get over it.

my ole man always used to ride us kids for better production his sayings started with "off and on"  "quit playing visa versa and get to work!"  "more nervous than a whore in church"

Why is it human nature can't resist this question? "How many cows do you own?"  I over heard a crusty old farmer one time with the perfect answer. "When it comes to feedn' em, too many. When it comes to selln' em not enough!"

My ex asked me that question the day we met. Wonder how I missed that clue? ???

My dad used to say "It's drier than a popcorn fart!"

"raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock"

On a personal note:  When I started to date my Dad took me aside and said "Let me tell ya something. Those guys with big fancy trucks with loud exhuast and that brag about all their fancy toys are short in at least one of the three P's. Pocketbook, pants or personality. Avoid em."

Gee, wish I would have listened to that one a little more closely.... (Dad's just know)

tama said:

"more nervous than a whore in church"

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haha that reminds me of the "sweatin like a whore in church". A common phrase at football practice  ;D

Hotter than 2 muskrats ****** in a wood hut....
Hotter than 2 rats ******* in a wool sock....
Bad milker = "milks like a squirrel!" my dad
A hard rain = "Raining like a cow pissin on a flat rock" my dad
Hot outside = "hotter than  a ***** in church" grandpa
Duct Tape = "if you can't duck it; **** it" grandpa

ELBEE said:

Why is it human nature can't resist this question? "How many cows do you own?"  I over heard a crusty old farmer one time with the perfect answer. "When it comes to feedn' em, too many. When it comes to selln' em not enough!"

My ex asked me that question the day we met. Wonder how I missed that clue? ???

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I am guilty of this question and have pondered for years why I ask it.  Have come to the conclusion I only ask people who I feel I am friends or sociable enough with to feel somewhat comfortable asking, and I ask them to see if the are a blowhart or honest in their management skills.  I may be dead wrong here but there is something a little more impressive about a guy managing 400 cows successfully (records, tagging, current on shots, good bull selection, and most importantly conception rate) than someone bragging about their 5.  Not to put down the guy with 5, we have a small herd ourselves.

These are more " advice " than sayings that my dad said many times to me, when I was growing up.
On running out of gas " It doesn't cost any more to keep the top half of the tank full as it does the bottom half"\

On working  " use you head to save your back"

On driving  " never back up a vehicle when it is possible to go ahead"

On when to calve cows he said " it takes 12 months to make a yearling no matter when they are born"  ( he was not a big fan of January calves!)