BANNED FROM WALMART

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farmboy

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 21, 2007
Messages
5,652
Location
south webster ohio
(lol)

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Walmart
 

TJ

Well-known member
Joined
May 15, 2007
Messages
2,036
I was just about to type, thank you for giving me lots of good ideas!  I may need to try a few of those... might even come up with a few new ones.  Being banned from "Wally World" wouldn't hurt my feelings one bit.  ;)
 
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