Alien Update: The Big Reveal!! OMG!

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Show Dad

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The following transcript is of a press conference held at 0800 GMT on Saturday, October 11, 2008 in a secret location in the Nevada desert: (A roughly dressed, ruggedly handsome man of above average height, approaches the podium with a swagger in his step, wearing an alien mask and hat.)

SD: Thank you for getting up so early and meeting me here at this dry lake facility. I know most of you endured a long night to be here so let’s get right down to business. I have prepared a short opening statement then will take some time to answer a few questions.

Greetings Citizens of Earth, I come in peace! Sorry I couldn’t help myself. To my fellow galactic inhabitants, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude for your hospitality and friendship. But I have a confession. (Sounds of camera bulbs flashing) I am not an alien, spaceman or extraterrestrial.

I am a man!

There, I have said it. I know that this alternate identity has been used to hide my true self for far to long. This has caused damage to my id, ego and super ego, as well as, all of you. There is no excuse, except for the good humor in which it was intended.

For this I apologize and ask that you somehow find it in your heart to forgive me. (Tears streaming down from under his mask and sounds of uncontrollable sobbing can be heard)

I….I will open it up to your questions.

Dan Rather: Mr. SD, Has this alternate reality caused you any personal pain?

SD: Uh, Dan, you old fart! Just because you don’t see my family standing here is no reason to think that your eyes are failing. Yes I have felt great personal pain in all of this. Next question!

Morley Saffer: What is your association with SteerPlanet.com? And when did you know that “Red” was a radical pig appendage lover? And what is her association with the KK?

SD: Is that you AJ? Oops, sorry Morley. I thought you were someone else. But take a chill pill. Steer Planet has been a place where everyone talks in code and we get marching orders for the coming alien invasion. :D Please forgive me old habits die hard.

As for Red, she is a true blue American sweetheart. But if you’d like the real dirt ask me later about her friend Gidget. As for KK, it’s her cat, stupid. Next question.

Katie Couric: SD, Why the alien mask? What is it that you are hiding? Show us the real you!

SD: Katie you ignorant slut! :eek: Have you been talking to Simmymom1?

I believe it is time for me to reveal the real man that I am!
(He reaches up to remove the mask causing a flurry of photographic activity.)



 

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Jill

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OMG, you are a hoot!  Sorry, but I still don't remember you from Wichita, I surely would remember someone that looked like that! (clapping)
 

doubled

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OH MY GOSH- Im gonna fall off my chair

YOU ARE A GOOD LOOKING DEVEL ARENT YOU-  but.... I know some people with really good calf clippers- It wont hurt I promise (lol) (lol) (lol)
 

justintime

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SP... this is in code so you and a few other select SP'ers will fully understand the message.

First of all, thanks for holding the new conference this morning so early this morning, so that I could witness your unveiling before I have to leave for the day. I was thinking I would miss it !  Is it fair to ask a few questions?
I will keep them simple as I know that you are still trying to adjust to your new life amongst us. So what was it like to wear that mask all day when it was 105 degrees and the humidity was above 90%? There were a few days last summer that I imagine were a bit of a struggle for you.

Have you thought about what you are going to do now that you have completed the unveiling? Have you thought about an acting career.... pardon me if I get a little blunt here ... but in the movies the "ruggedly handsome" types ( as you call it.... the rest of us may have some other words to describe your appearance) always get the babes. Think about it before you discard this idea... it could really work for you. I think I have seen you already in a few TV ads so acting isn't much of a stretch.

I will be watching the tabloids in the check out line at our local Walmart.  I am sure that the National Enquirer will have a front page feature piece on this event with all the REAL facts of your story. It will be a must read for all of us.
 

Show Dad

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justintime said:
SP... this is in code so you and a few other select SP'ers will fully understand the message.

First of all, thanks for holding the new conference this morning so early this morning, so that I could witness your unveiling before I have to leave for the day. I was thinking I would miss it !  Is it fair to ask a few questions?
I will keep them simple as I know that you are still trying to adjust to your new life amongst us. So what was it like to wear that mask all day when it was 105 degrees and the humidity was above 90%? There were a few days last summer that I imagine were a bit of a struggle for you.

Have you thought about what you are going to do now that you have completed the unveiling? Have you thought about an acting career.... pardon me if I get a little blunt here ... but in the movies the "ruggedly handsome" types ( as you call it.... the rest of us may have some other words to describe your appearance) always get the babes. Think about it before you discard this idea... it could really work for you. I think I have seen you already in a few TV ads so acting isn't much of a stretch.

Yes it is OK to ask questions.

Thanks JIT for keeping it simple. The heat over the summer has left me with a mild case of heat stroke.

Yes you have seen me in a TV commercial. This was the endorsement deal I eluded to earlier in the week. Hey it pays the bills.

It is amazing how this internet thing works. Since I came out this morning the girls have just clogged my email with all kinds of proposals. My wife is now monitoring my email. How is a Cro-Magnon man to have any fun! :eek: 8)

JAM - You don't know how many times I have had offers to cut my hair. But it is shaving my back that gets most of them! :D
 

Simmymom1

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  (clapping)  I didn't think it was possible to laugh any harder today than I did yesterday, but WOW you have outdone yourself on this one!!  I was so looking forward to the "unveiling" that I didn't get any sleep last night out of pure excitement ( that, and I drank too much tea )!  So many questions come to mind......1.  Are you going to change your avatar? I finally got used to that creepy alien picture.    2. Don't you think that the "real" aliens out there are going to be mad that you impersonated them, and now they are going to want revenge?    3. This is the best one.... WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK A BATH AND SHAVED ???    I usually don't touch the computer on the weekends SD, but I want you to know that just for this unprecedented event I got on here before I even fed the animals or brushed my teeth.  I hope you feel warm and fuzzy all over because of this, wait...from the looks of you I think you do feel warm and FUZZY!!
 

Simmymom1

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<party>  SD FOR PRESIDENT.......So easy, even a caveman can do it!!  Ha Ha  (lol)
 

red

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SD- KK says he still has more hair than you!

After meeting you at Jr Nalt's do you wear a second mask as to not cause a stampede?

Also are you starting a cult? The reason I ask is because I already belong to JIT's & not sure if you can be in two at the same time.

You crack me up & between you & Justamom you both made my weekend!

Red
 

Show Dad

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Simmimom1 to answer your questions yes I plan on changing my avatar but hope to wait until Monday (that's bath night). As for the "real aliens" I really can't answer that because I was actually infiltrating their ranks for our government, so its classified. Revenge, hope they bring their "A" game. And I am sorry for the lost sleep. Next time try warm milk.

Red I hope you are taking it easy. At Jr Nationals I just used Nair. It last about a day. No cult leader here. But thinking about a club.
 

justme

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OMG! (lol) (clapping)  I missed the news conference.  I was up at Nelson's Friday...you know us girls we had to do some chattering.  Then to Generations of Excellence Saturday.  now I'm just pooped.

WOW SD, you and Mucho can  battle who has more hair!  Guess your needing a new hat lol.

 
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