SKUNKED -- a real LOL from Nebraska

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Cowboy

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Apr 13, 2007
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692
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McCook Ne.
Well,  seeing how we live at the END of the road here -- and of course I am still up this late due to a natoriously late cycling donor -- I have a little story to tell you all -- trust me -- this has never happened in the last 30 years -- but have come close a few times.  :eek: :eek: :eek:

About 30 minutes ago -- as I have done several hundred times the last few years at this place -- I thawed a couple units of semen for the waiting donor -- turned on the light outside on the patio and opened the glass sliding door leading out from the living room. We have a bunch of cats, and usually they are all curled up right in front of the door so I have to step over them to get out.

Not thinking about the dark pile of fur outside the door -- I opened it up and stepped out as always -- but as I turned to close the door -- I realized I was STANDING on a VERY pissed off cat like animal -- but this one had STRIPES !! Holy Crap -- as well as several other things I am sure that came out of my mouth.

So that you can all laugh faster -- and not waste any more breath -- you guessed it -- I was skunked -- although most of the REAL spray never got me as I was already moving way too fast to catch me -- the DRIFT effect got me pretty good. Seeing how I was already smelling pretty sexy -- I figured it wouldn't do any harm to try and put this KITTY out of it's misery -- so I grabbed the wood splitter and swung it at him like an Australian boomerang -- it caught the darn thing broadside -- and as of now -- neither the Skunk OR the wood slitter can be found!

I will update you in the morning some time after I take my 10th shower -- or some where in that area! 

DANG IT ANYWAY --

This darn donor had BETTER have about 250 eggs to pay for the electric bill!

Go ahead and laugh Dusty -- RSC - SH - COWZ - 6M - and every one else who have been here at least once. I'll bet Big B in Illinois would flat fall out of his chair over this one! Little buggers sure do stink!

(argue)

<cowboy>
Terry

(Let me have it -- I know ya can't wait)
 

inthebarnagain

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Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
613
Location
Indiana
Oh NO!  It didn't spray into the house did it?  If you really can't get the smell off of you, I can give you a recipe for removing it from you or your animals, experience from a long time dog groomer.
 

box6rranch

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Dec 11, 2008
Messages
604
Location
Larkspur, CO
Break out the used coffee grounds or relax in a tub of tomato juice. Win win situation, either have an espresso or a Bloody Mary to go along with it! ;)
 

RSC

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Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
1,998
Location
Shelby, NE
Cowboy said:
Well,  seeing how we live at the END of the road here -- and of course I am still up this late due to a natoriously late cycling donor -- I have a little story to tell you all -- trust me -- this has never happened in the last 30 years -- but have come close a few times.  :eek: :eek: :eek:

About 30 minutes ago -- as I have done several hundred times the last few years at this place -- I thawed a couple units of semen for the waiting donor -- turned on the light outside on the patio and opened the glass sliding door leading out from the living room. We have a bunch of cats, and usually they are all curled up right in front of the door so I have to step over them to get out.

Not thinking about the dark pile of fur outside the door -- I opened it up and stepped out as always -- but as I turned to close the door -- I realized I was STANDING on a VERY pissed off cat like animal -- but this one had STRIPES !! Holy Crap -- as well as several other things I am sure that came out of my mouth.

So that you can all laugh faster -- and not waste any more breath -- you guessed it -- I was skunked -- although most of the REAL spray never got me as I was already moving way too fast to catch me -- the DRIFT effect got me pretty good. Seeing how I was already smelling pretty sexy -- I figured it wouldn't do any harm to try and put this KITTY out of it's misery -- so I grabbed the wood splitter and swung it at him like an Australian boomerang -- it caught the darn thing broadside -- and as of now -- neither the Skunk OR the wood slitter can be found!

I will update you in the morning some time after I take my 10th shower -- or some where in that area! 

DANG IT ANYWAY --

This darn donor had BETTER have about 250 eggs to pay for the electric bill!

Go ahead and laugh Dusty -- RSC - SH - COWZ - 6M - and every one else who have been here at least once. I'll bet Big B in Illinois would flat fall out of his chair over this one! Little buggers sure do stink!

(argue)

<cowboy>
Terry

(Let me have it -- I know ya can't wait)
LOL. If you would have wrote this 2 days ago Cowboy, I would have immediately been depressed thinking you were telling the board Jess came up with 0(Skunked) embryos.  Wow That Stinks.  I'll bet you drink another cup of coffee so that your wided eyed next time you go breed a cow in the middle of the night.

RSC
 

CJC

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May 16, 2008
Messages
782
Location
BROOKSHIRE, TX
So when you finely went to flush the cow did you put a clothes pin over her nose so she didn't have to smell you? :D :D
 

RSC

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Jan 30, 2007
Messages
1,998
Location
Shelby, NE
Cowboy have you thought about changing your name here on the Planet?  How bout HERE KITTY KITTY?

LOL,

Tony
 

cowz

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Jan 10, 2007
Messages
1,492
Take your clothes you had on and bury them in your garden plot for a couple days....will take the smell out!

Can we change your online name to STINKY ?......hahahha
 

Dusty

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Feb 13, 2008
Messages
1,097
If you pick a skunk up by the tail they can't spray you.. true story.  My little brother used to skin skunks for the local furbuyer at night when he was in high school.  It was pretty lucrative as no one else wanted to do it..
 

Cowboy

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Joined
Apr 13, 2007
Messages
692
Location
McCook Ne.
Well folks,I made it thru the night -- it took a few trips thru the wet room, but I am almost normal.

Wasn't going out to FLUSH the donor, was just going out to BREED the donor. She didn't seem to mind as far as I could tell -- she is a pretty seasoned old girl -- we call her Stubby -- a North Dakota cow with no ears or tail -- she is the mother of Krugerand 410-H from a few years ago. Whale of a cow --

Found the wood splitter MELTED to an old tree outside, and what is left of the Skunk -- looks to me the local Great Horned Owl fixed things up pretty good for me last night!

If I had a been a little more composed -- I would have tried the coffee and tomato  thing -- but didn't have much thought process at 2-30 in the morning!! hehehe

I knew a couple of you would chime in --  I also knew that at least ONE of you would be at least slightly diplomatic seeing how I still have a cow here -- hehehe!

Clothes are out in the wind now --- house is close to being normal -- it didn't quite get inside but it was close.

Never expected that little escapade -- I will take Tony's advice and have three cups of Starbucks instead of the normal two!!!

I tihnk Jess was laughing at me as well -- spitfull as the owner , meybe even a little more so!! Oh well, she lost -- I won!!!

Thanks for not melting me into the chair guys -- I figured it was good for a laugh or two at my expense. Gotta love the country life huh?

Terry

 

inthebarnagain

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Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
613
Location
Indiana
Dusty said:
If you pick a skunk up by the tail they can't spray you.. true story.  My little brother used to skin skunks for the local furbuyer at night when he was in high school.  It was pretty lucrative as no one else wanted to do it..

So is being an embalmer, who else wants to do it???  I say if that is your cup of tea, more power to you!!
 

ATOZ

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Nov 20, 2007
Messages
231
I went out to feed the barn cats late one night ( poor lighting in the barn) put my hand in the cat food bin ( as I do every night) and found a dam opossum hissing at me !!!  Lucky for me just a opossum & not a skunk !!!!!!!  I guess at the shows I will look for the guy with a new skunk hat!
 

shortyjock89

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Mar 6, 2007
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4,465
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IL
ATOZ said:
I went out to feed the barn cats late one night ( poor lighting in the barn) put my hand in the cat food bin ( as I do every night) and found a dam opossum hissing at me !!!   Lucky for me just a opossum & not a skunk !!!!!!!  I guess at the shows I will look for the guy with a new skunk hat!

We had that deal happen about three weeks ago, only it was in the garage and with the dog food. Biggest Opossum I believe I've ever seen.  My step brother found it, and he whacked it with a ball bat, and I ran to the house and fetched the .22 for fear of blowing a hole in the garage with anything bigger.  I bet the sucker weighed about 30 lbs, it was a BIG'un.
 

N2ShowN

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Dec 22, 2008
Messages
107
Location
Central CA
Had the possum thing happen to me once too.  I was getting things ready to go to a show and I pulled the box that held the banners off the shelf at about eye level.  As I pulled the banners out of the box I awole the possum that was sleeping on them.  Boy was I surprised to find him hissing right in my face.  I actually froze from the surprise.  Damn those things are ugly when they are pissed.
 

farmboy

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Apr 21, 2007
Messages
5,652
Location
south webster ohio
ive been skunked 4 times in my life, my luck sucks.

ive been eye to eye with an ol sam possum. actually had a pet possum once
ive been bit by a groundhog
have had a coon climb up my leg as well as a squirrel.
 

inthebarnagain

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Oct 10, 2007
Messages
613
Location
Indiana
zach said:
ive been skunked 4 times in my life, my luck sucks.

ive been eye to eye with an ol sam possum. actually had a pet possum once
ive been bit by a groundhog
have had a coon climb up my leg as well as a squirrel.

Gee Zach, with your luck rabies shots might not be a bad idea!!
 

shortyjock89

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Mar 6, 2007
Messages
4,465
Location
IL
Now Zach, we all know that you tricked them buggers into climbin up your britches with some tasty treats in your pocked.

Braggin and such, I never seen the like.

I'm kinda feelin a bit squirrely myself today.  (lol)
 
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